“To mother-in-law, grudge nearly 30 years” : talk about me now, and why hate not up

2022-04-26 0 By

01 Life is divided into stages. There are inevitable relations between stages, and there may also be necessary conflicts, such as conflicts in cognition, ideas and mood.We grow to the greatest advantage, gradually have the ability to treat others, learn tolerance.Know that life is not easy, everyone has their own difficulties, when we start to let go of blame, heart inch, road wide.If human beings are prejudiced animals, the greater the prejudice, the deeper the obsession, which will make us magnify the misfortune around us, and live in pain forever.So in the future, the more I can understand a sentence, forgive others, but also for their own redemption, learn to reconcile with their own, from “forget”.In fact, in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the correct attitude should be, mother-in-law is only your mother-in-law, is your husband’s mother, not your mother.You treat your mother-in-law like a mother, and that’s the beginning of a disaster, because then you have to ask yourself a question: I treat you like a mother, why don’t you treat me like a daughter?But in fact, you didn’t ask your mother-in-law for permission, and even if she did, it’s impossible to agree on the level of affection.Having too high expectations is a big no-no in any relationship, and realize that no one in this world will ever live up to all of your expectations.It is best to regard the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law as a relationship only, not to force substantive content, you do not want to greed her benefits, she does not expect you to understand her.Separate life, get along with more, don’t get along as a guest.At the same time, we can also realize that two people are different individuals, so there are less expectations, presuppositions and requirements;More tolerance, understanding, acceptance.02 the establishment of a new family, is the most need parents to help, but the mother-in-law is worse than the neighbors, cold and incomparable, this is the main reason xu Fen (pseudonym) resent her mother-in-law.Later, she moved to the county with one breath and vowed never to return to the home that broke her heart.This separation lasted for nearly 30 years, and Xu Fen hated her mother-in-law for nearly 30 years.At the beginning, Xu Fen will also kidnap her husband and children, like themselves, absolutely stand to the opposite of her mother-in-law, remain neutral.But as I grew older, I thought of my parents and began to realize that I was wrong.No matter how much they hate her mother-in-law, but her mother-in-law is always her husband’s mother, the only mother, which is a fact that can never be changed, and for their children, there is only one grandmother, such as her mother-in-law left after one hundred years, the children will not have a grandmother from now on.So that is the husband and children’s relatives, not because of their resentment against the mother-in-law, to kidnap their feelings and relationships.So many years in the past, a lot of things happened in the family, all these changes, are gradually relieved Xu Fen resentment of her mother-in-law, until now, want to hate also hate up.Stand on the role of Xu Fen, say I now, why hate not rise again?First of all, there is no conflict of interest between Xu Fen and her mother-in-law. Perhaps when she was young, there was a need to fight for something to take, but at this age, there was no dispute.Add in all those years of not living together, and any grudges have faded away.Secondly, no matter how many conflicts occur between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, a family is always a family, even if there are constant conflicts between two people, when the family is really bullied by outsiders, it will immediately stand on the same front.As in the early years, her mother-in-law also had great opinions on Xu Fen, but she did not hesitate to stand beside her when she saw xu Fen arguing with outsiders.Then Xu Fen also made the mother-in-law, when young, Xu Fen is very sure, such as in the future he did the mother-in-law, will definitely be a qualified mother-in-law.But the fact is, no matter how hard she tried, she did not meet the daughter-in-law’s satisfaction standard, so she understood that different positions, different considerations.As long as there is no deep hatred, right and wrong is just different from each other’s position, not who is really right and who is really wrong, involving a lot of things, very complicated.Finally, Xu Fen went back to the number of very few, until the last time to see her mother-in-law, she found her mother-in-law changed a lot, stumbling, white hair, this moment only for an old man’s sympathy, compassion, but not to consider her role.Therefore, I suddenly thought that I would have this day, and I would see through everything in an instant. In front of life, there was nothing to care about.03 Yes, each other to this age, what is there to care about, after all, between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is no deep hatred, there are only those trivial things, these small things, can not withstand the impact of time, gradually faded, each other relieved.In fact, it is mainly age that brings about the change in mood, knowing what is important and what is not, and focusing only on the important things.People of different ages are unable to understand each other’s situation and circumstances, and when they reach each other’s ages, they see the world differently.Young experience, have become the past, really will find themselves very far away.In this world, can not go is never someone hurt you, but can not get out of their own obsession.When you see through the light of things, you will find that nothing is important, only health is important, only the mood is important, only the present life is important.One day, we will all be old, if you can’t avoid it, try to age gracefully, as long as you can have the grace and richness of this age.Things that are not very important, things that are in the past, it is obviously not smart to magnify them in the present life.Perhaps a lot of things, not by saying, with age and experience, will naturally become so.Life is very short, just like the blink of an eye, has stepped into the mother-in-law’s role, anyway, good and bad are their own experience, without these experiences, would not have now oneself, then all the experience, are worth Thanksgiving.–END–